my baby cracked her ribs, this is a little thing to show her how much i care. Love you baby feel better soon!

my baby cracked her ribs, this is a little thing to show her how much i care. Love you baby feel better soon!

1 note

  • Me: Hey dad.
  • Dad: Hey.
  • Me: Do you have AIDS?
  • Dad: ....WHAT THE FUCK!? NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
  • Me: Ok...just a question.
  • Dad: Bay'jezus boyo where did you think of that!? Why would I have AIDS?
  • Me: Well how many girls have you done since you were 25? You cant count on two hands and worse, you cant count on two hands and two feet.
  • Dad: ....
  • Me: And you didn't know half of them and-
  • Dad: Here's 20 bucks. Go away!
  • HA EASY MONEY!

im trapped in my room

my step mom’s dog just puked in front of my door a pile so large i cant walk around it. what the hell man! now im stuck in my room until someone wakes up! and i really have to pee!

collegehumor:

Hot Girl Holding Satan’s Cat Princess
Nice kitty, don’t steal my soul now.

id be scared to sleep with that thing in my house

collegehumor:

Hot Girl Holding Satan’s Cat Princess

Nice kitty, don’t steal my soul now.

id be scared to sleep with that thing in my house

780 notes

collegehumor:

Dick’s Big Package
Comes with a free pamphlet about overcompensating for your inadequacies.

lol

collegehumor:

Dick’s Big Package

Comes with a free pamphlet about overcompensating for your inadequacies.

lol

1,528 notes

collegehumor:

Please Don’t Jump on the Beds
If you fail to comply, you will be required to participate in a series of five intensive child-training seminars

when i have children i hope a bed doesnt jump on her

collegehumor:

Please Don’t Jump on the Beds

If you fail to comply, you will be required to participate in a series of five intensive child-training seminars

when i have children i hope a bed doesnt jump on her

1,160 notes

collegehumor:

Fabulous Teacher Yearbook Photo
Yeah, get that tenure.

omg that would be the kind of teacher yearbook picture my dad would have since he’s a teacher to

collegehumor:

Fabulous Teacher Yearbook Photo

Yeah, get that tenure.

omg that would be the kind of teacher yearbook picture my dad would have since he’s a teacher to

610 notes

collegehumor:

8 Positions for Sex at Your Parents’ Place [Click to continue reading]

No matter how hard you try, they will find out!

hehe ;)

518 notes

collegehumor:

Llama Feels Fabulous
And ffashionable, and ffierce.

this is aaron in a llama

collegehumor:

Llama Feels Fabulous

And ffashionable, and ffierce.

this is aaron in a llama

2,829 notes